Day Dreaming

i dont know where to start. but i just want to put all things on writing. to express who am i right now!

Disclaimer: My english is fabulous :)

i love to DAY DREAM! i spent almost half of my day lying on bed(oops everywhere kung saan abutan kahit sa bus), close eyes but awake and alive making story in my mind. take note with complete details: lines, person involved, reaction, beginning, middle, end of the story. EVERYTHING! name it.. maybe this story of mind is the effect of all movies, teleserye that i've watched!  or maybe because i am a good writer :)) Ahaha anyways..

in my day dream I am the person that i want to be, im with the people whom i want to be, achieving all my dreams with a nice and exciting story. EVERYTHING IS PERFECT! yes, to make sound interesting i also put problems and trials in my story, but of course i know where the story will come, so Let it be! in my day dream im too far for who i am now! im with the person whom i love and admire (ops I'ts not constant anyway, it depends on the person who i admire for that time and he will be the man in my dreams:) and ohmygosh were too far in our relationship but in reality I DO NOT HAVE ONE :) haaayy my crazy little things that i do in the name of LOVE! (sometimes in my story, i already get married AHAHA, too much(i know right?) started in courtship, going in church, anniversaries, trials, family etc..) haaaayyyy one word to say KALERKS!!

but one day i woke up! i realized "LAGI NALANG BA KO GANITO? HANGGANG IMAGINATION KO NALANG BA TALAGA LAHAT NG ITO?" then it all turns into sadness, frustration, hopeless. sayang naman lahat ng dreams ko! gusto ko to mangyari sa buhay ko! but I dont know how to start. Just one day when im in the middle of my day dreaming it pop up into my mind "OOPS! I have to stop day dreaming, lahat ng iniimagine hindi nagkakatotoo! (BUT i can't. lagi ako hinihila pahiga para icontinue yung kwento.. urghh!!)

then One time napagod ako! daming nasasayang na oras.. dumadaan yung araw wala man lang ako na-acomplished! nagagalit lang ako sa sarili ko! FRUSTRATED! bakit ba kasi ganito eh!! it makes me weak, lack of self esteem, everything! actually i always pray naman eh. to give thanks and to say sorry. i also pray to help me to achieve all of my dreams then after that i'll go back to my imagination.

But that day was really different! it pushes me to pray to God! talk to him and tell to him everything. not just a thank you and sorry and wish! but i tell to God everything on what's happening in me even though i know that he all know that before me. but i ask him! that i need his guidance, that i want to stop doing this routine, that i realized that im wasting my time, that i turned my back for all the responsibilities that i promised to do! especially to share the message of the lord, and to encourage my family to know God! i ask him to please help me to stop doing this, and make me responsible enough! i say it again to him LORD! take it over! you're in charge now! you're the BOSS! tell me what to do! im giving you everything, my dreams, my goal, my fears, use it for your GLORY.. Lord im getting tired to do nothing. i want you to change me! the way that you want me to be! LET YOUR WILL BE DONE!  I spend my time talking to the lord, asking for his help, and for his answer! God is good! for real! IT'S TRUE that When you have the words of the Lord in your heart, and believe that He is in you. you will not easy to deceive and you will find the ANSWER!

GOD show me where to start! FIND A JOB! for me to achieve my goals and dreams in life, start to invest! and YES i apply for a work (online muna) then after 1 day some of the companies started to call (but i didn't pass any of it) but i am thankful for that, God knows me a lot! i am not full hearted with those jobs. as in gusto ko lang mag-apply! hehe alam niya na hindi ako magiging masaya sa  mga work na yun at hindi ako para dun. kaya no pain at all! :) hindi lang pera ang habol ko, i need a work na kung saan magiging masaya ako ng hindi ako susuko agad (based on my past working experienced)! GOD IS GOOD! next thing TO DO: Expose yourself, (masyado lumiit mundo ko nung puro ako at imagination ko lang) so i live for 3 days in Paranaque where my cousins are all there. ansaya :) di nawala si lord! me and my cousin decided for a walk-in application. and gotcha! mas masaya, nakakapagod but it's all worth it! gusto ko yung nature ng work na yun, at mismo yung lugar :) alam ko nakakapagod but im willing to take a risk! (wag mconfused hindi pa ko tinatawagan hehe hoping and praying) IN JESUS NAME! makakapasok ako sa company na yun :) 

and what's the good news for all of this? I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO spend for DAY DREAMING! :))) hindi na ko ako yung tinatamad palagi :) binalik ni Lord yung sigla ko na nawala sa akin :) THANK YOU LORD JESUS supeerrrr thankyouuuu GOD!! 

Lesson: if you have imagination without working on it,  IT'S A DREAM! but if you have imagination and working on it. IT'S AN ACHIEVEMENT :